WHERE IS THE HAT?

Once there was a man who lost his hat and thought he can have another one by stealing a hat from the church entrance. Once inside, he heard the sermon of the priest about the ten commandments. When the mass was over he approach the priest. "Father I would like to thank you. I went here with a sin in my heart but when I heard your sermon I have changed my mind". "Fine" said the priest. "But what did I say that change your mind?". "Remember Father when you said -Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife- then I remember where I left my heart.

WARNING!

When I was a little boy I fell in love with theater. And since there were no movies in those days I watch peep shows as many as I could find. My father warned me though. "Son one thing you should never do is watch peep shows featuring naked woman" Of course I ask why? He said: "You will see things should never see". That settled it. The next time I had plenty of money I went straight to a peep show. Truly my father was right I saw something I should never have seen...my Dad!

KAILAN DARATING ANG UMAGA?

Bakit sa tuwina'y kaydilim ng umaga?
Mga kulog at kidlat nagbabadya baga
Luksang ulap humahadlang talaga
Sinasansala ang mithing ligaya.

Kawangis ng batong di natitinag
Ang tanging saksi sa mga naganap
Mga nakita'y di maibulalas
Pangkat walang layang makapagpahayag.

Kawangis ng mangmang na'y pinutol pa and dila
Dahil sa nakita ang krimeng nagawa
Mga nakita'y pinagwalang bahala
'Pagkat sa pagwika'y wala siyang laya.

Kawangis ng lahing minsa'y walang kibo
Laging yumuyukod, laging tumatango
Sa pagkasubasob di makatayo
Pagkat pinipigil ang mga maling turo.

Ah! Kailan nga ba sisikat ang araw?
Upang magsiwalat ng katotohanan
Upang ipabatid mga kamalian
Bunga ng ulap ng kasinungalinan.

Ang paraan kaya'y magsawalang kibo
At huwag indahin sugat na tinamo
O hanapin ang mga nagkanulo at
Kuhanin ang apdo't durugin an puso?

Happy Birthday Rik!

January 1st is the birthday of my good friend Rick of SMC. Chessplayers from Batangas gathered in his magnificent house and me as perrenial guest. Rik is the strongest chessplayer in Batangas and if not for the nature of his work, he could easily be a National Master at the very least. Every year, he sponsored mini-tournaments normally blitz with prizes for 1st to 3rd place. This year's edition was divided into two tournaments- the 10 min blitz and 5 min blitz. Rik did not play in the 1st tournament (10 min) to my dismay as I am looking forward in upsetting him. The were 19 participants and we decided to effect the 5 Round SWISS System which I volunteered to officiate. Now I realized the importance of playing and officiating as my beloved Queen was taken by my opponent without compensation in a winning position in the third round, luckily I drew the game using "gulang". I end up 3.5 points after five round which is good for 5th place. I happened to beat Bong in the last round which served as a consolation.
I was looking forward in the 5 min tournament as Rik will surely participate and the format is Round Robin. I was very excited as I will be playing white against him based on the schedule. During the game, I teased him to play Ruy Lopez which he obliged but at the back of my mind I was hoping that he will be playing Guicco Piano when I played 3. Bc4 as I observed him to reply in some of his games against other opponents in the past. In the end I was badly beaten. I placed 3rd with 9.5 points in 9 wins, 3 losses, and 1 draw.
I am looking forward in beating him next year. I will emerge victorious in our battle and infict the defeat in the most important day of his life. I hope...